I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
