with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize