This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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