The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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