She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
