just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
