By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
