Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.

Fav 33 5353 848
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(574): View more from Indiana

all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying

Fav 15 4961 824
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(423): View more from Tennessee

drunk tastebuds have low standards.

Fav 6 4087 1442
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.

Fav 16 1092 3191
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(503): View more from Oregon

College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

Fav 12 1181 4460
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.

Fav 16 1742 1248
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(415): View more from California

I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

Fav 13 1035 1914
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(434): View more from Virginia

do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?

Fav 3 730 492
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?

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