let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
