Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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