We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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