As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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