He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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