At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
