Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I looked at my own cervix.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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