I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
