I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm at about main and main street
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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