last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
