your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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