Can i not drive my cunt home
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
