i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
