I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
