Dignity is for republicans.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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