I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
