You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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