You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Two words: nipple clamps
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