im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
