We won't sleep together?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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