break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Welp...herpes.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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