Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
