I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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