I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
