...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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