party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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