Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
