Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
