She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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