Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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