you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize