he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
