We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
