All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
