He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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