Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize