So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
