Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So squirting runs in the family.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
