Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to be your penis for a week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
