I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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