Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
