Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
