dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
