**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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