Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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