Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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