i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have post one night stand depression
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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