when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize